Response To Lee Cassanell - Flood Aid - What's It All About? By John Fareham

So there I was, sitting at my laptop, supping a hot ribena (such is life in the fast lane when you have reached the end of a day when you couldn't trim your hedge because it was raining) when I spotted that Lee Cassanell, Ella Street's other hat wearer had written in. Girding my loins ready for more action, and polishing up a few merry quips I leaned back and read away. What can I say? All my rehearsed lines fell away from me. My carefully polished and prepared ad libs (yes I know Aldus Huxley made the joke in Grave New World but a good joke is worth repeating, I said a good joke was worth repeating) fell away.

I started to smile (nearly as frightening as when John Prescott did his sincere smile for children), then I laughed. Usually you can get taken away for doing that on your own but there is a special dispensation for Tories in hull, you need a sense of humour to keep going.

Well written and making good points in a humorous way, I was reminded of something. What could it be? Oh yes! As I turned to my plate of Hobnobs (oh yes we posh Sir-type people know how to live and replace calories used in trimming our hedges) I remembered. It's like my council speeches (available to view on the council's exciting webcasts from the council home page. Bookmark it now, it's not better than Ridley Scott for direction and the material reminds you of Woody Allen and Steve Martin - when they both stopped being funny!).

What can I saymof my performances other than my agents Ibbs and Tillet of Wigmore Street, W1 tell me I am available for Masonic Socials, Bar Mitzvahs, and the odd Ella Street Bohemian outing … indeed, anything to get me out of doing the hedge! Good points humorously made by Lee who clearly is a better writer than Chester, or was it his roll (jam roll I assume, they are serious gourmet in the squares of Ella Street) that inspired him? My world was rocked! I agreed with nearly all the article, and not a contrived swear word in place either!

Have I now lost my status as Sir John of Ella Street and am I merging into the bohemian element of the street. I knew it was time to log off and turn to my bedtime reading of 1001 Great Hedge Shapes in the County of Berkshire - the illustrated edition.

Articles - Response To The Flood Aid Feud By War Drobe

	So I'd just got back from the annual Greasyroots festival, soaked to the bone and smelling of joss sticks, third rate cannabis and self-indulgent white middle-class liberals. I sat down at my PC and there was the latest contribution to the Flood Aid Feud. War between Chester Draws, Sir John Fareham and Lee Cassanell is brewing Read more...

Articles - Just Do It: The Swinging Sixties By Christine Park

	Becoming a pensioner happens to other people, not me! So when I held my 60th birthday party I affected a kind of put-on smile for the evening. This did not amuse my daughter who had kindly arranged and paid for champagne. She saw through the curled lip and told me to move on. At the time I wasn't sure what she meant, but the following day Read more...

Articles - Response To John Fareham - Flood Aid - What's It All About? By Lee Cassanell

	So I was sitting at my PC smoking a roll and reading the latest Hull Flood News when I chanced upon this little nugget from the right honourable Conservative compulsive hedge trimmer Sir John Fareham in his response to an article by the comically named Chester Draws. "I think he tries too hard to disguise his identity, but not all that successfully Read more...

Articles - Is Modern Life Shit? By Scott Rorrison.

	I was a reckless youth who, due to a heavy influence from Jim Morrison realised the importance of education at the age of about 19. Due to being a late starter I am still working at an engineering company for my sins whilst studying English with the O.U. At this previously mentioned place of work the lads enjoy nothing more than listening to the local Read more...

Articles - Crosswire Conspiracy Part 5 By Buick McCain

	August 1941 Most of our training exercises had been carried out under cover of darkness and with the complicity of local landowners and after three months of rigorous activity, the hard work was eventually paying dividends. I had organised the six groups into autonomous units and for security, each group consisted Read more...

Articles - Response To Chester Draws Flood Aid - What's It All About? By John Fareham

	I am probably missing something but in the desperate attempt to be 'with attitude' the article by 'Chester' rather misses some points. I doubt the council need lessons in drunken perversion from a man who seems aroused by his ability to urinate in public and a need to share that with us: great promotion for Hull. I wonder if Chester would like to name Read more...

Articles - Crosswire Conspiracy Part 4 By Buick McCain

	The crossing over the Channel was uneventful and as we approached the coastline the Flight Sergeant beckoned me forward and pointed towards the horizon. Immediately the scale of Hitler's stranglehold over Europe became frighteningly real. Far below but as far as the eye could see, the massed German forces waited menacingly Read more...

Articles - Response to Hull Flood Aid - What's It All About? By Chester Draws

	I must confess I found Michelle Dee's article on Hull Flood aid much more lucid and sober than some of her previous creative explorations and I for one am glad she had the inclination and good sense to raise the issue. Still, it was only a bit of water and although some people have lost possessions and property at least it provided them with a bit of excitement Read more...

Articles - Crosswire Conspiracy Part 3 By Buick McCain

	Throughout the rest of the day reports of further explosions, all of which were in and around the West End were filtering back to Baker Street. We were ordered to remain in the building until we had clearance from the police and the army bomb squad commander. Murray half heartedly tried to explain the semantics and machinations Read more...

Articles - Crosswire Conspiracy Part 2 By Buick McCain

	I was back at Baker Street by 9.45am and I knew that if I looked anywhere near as shattered as I felt, I was in trouble. The ubiquitous Sergeant Craig, the unfriendly giant, led me straight up to a second floor room. This time the welcome party consisted of one man, not much older than me. Although he was dressed in civilian clothes Read more...

Articles - Hull Flood Aid - What's It All About? By Michelle Dee

	Once again the local music community is gearing up to stage a music event in the city of Hull. After the floods that have left many homeless resulted in hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of property damage and caused severe disruption to schools. Many local businesses will record losses due to flood affected premises and damaged stock. Read more...

Articles - Hydroponics By Stuart Batley

	Hydroponics in general is a way of growing plants and vegetables of all kinds indoors or in a greenhouse without soil in water containing essential mineral nutrients. Many commercial vegetables are grown this way these days in huge greenhouses. The term hydroponics is derived from Greek word and literally means 'working water'. There are many system variations on Read more...

Articles - A Bridge Too Far - The Floods By Paul Wood

	Well it was 10.30 am, the morning of the floods and I was on Newland Avenue at the Post Office, watching as the flood water washed up towards the door. I waded across the road ankle-deep to head home where I stayed most of the day. Around lunch time, my neighbours were bailing out water from down the terrace as the rain had been continuous and it was Read more...

Articles - Crosswire Conspiracy By Buick McCain

	During the summer of 2006 my grandmother sadly passed away. Amongst her possessions, that I was given responsibility for sorting, was a neatly filed and dated collection of my late grandfather's diaries, dating from the early 1940s. Over the ensuing weeks I read and reread all my grandfathers' thoughts. Of his hopes and aspirations Read more...

Articles - A Nightmare on Ella Street By Chester Draws

	Saint’s preserve us ... It’s the end of the world as we know it, the biblical flood has arrived to punish Ella Street for its Liberal Bohemian ways. We thought that all our pot smoking, hippy festivals and savage alcohol problems would put us on square terms with the man upstairs but it seems God is a raging Conservative who would see us all drown Read more...

Articles - The Drain - Memories of East Hull By Nicholas Boldock

	It can sometimes transcend strangeness, the things we humans can have a fondness for. Me, I rather like "The Drain", that muddy, filthy waterway that flows through East Hull, fostering luminous green algae and prehistoric hermaphrodite fish as it goes. At first glance the drain looks like not much more than a cleverly designed cesspool, Read more...

Articles - Buses By Andrea Longstaff

	I was running to catch the number 13 bus in Bond Street when the driver, standing next to his vehicle and smoking a roll-up said to me "There's always going to be another bus you know" I replied that I had to be somewhere and was running late. "Why don't you walk then?" Hmmmmm and why don't you mind your own fucking business? Read more...

Articles - Behind the Wall - Ibrahim's Pavement Café By Rich Wiles, of Hull and Hebron

	Most cities and town across Europe have a central square, or several, around which the city or town is built. These can include bustling market squares in rural England, lazy plazas in small Spanish villages, and huge piazzas in Italy's great Roman cities Al-Khalil's (Hebron's) Beit Romano Square bears little in common with these Read more...

Articles - Appeal - Calling East Hull ...

	When was the last time you ate a meal so good that you had to tell someone about it? When was the last time you walked into a pub and had a really good night out? When was the last time you spoke to someone who was so unique that you immediately thought: now that would make a good story... If any of the above applies to you, then we want to hear from you. Read more...

Articles - Wilberforce House - New Exhibition By Michael Smith Age 15

	The house of William Wilberforce has been converted into a fabulous exhibition dedicated to the Slave trade and its abolition along with the life of William Wilberforce and his work. Such a museum is exactly the correct thing to do to the very house that William lived and worked in. The museum is an emotional and educational experience that Read more...

Articles - Trepanning Worked For Me And The Joys Of Public Transport By Andrea Longstaff

	The Government and the Greenies moan like fuck about carbon emissions but I use public transport on a regular basis. I don't know if it's me going through an olfactory hallucinatory phase but the buses always seem to stink of rancid piss these days, and the people that you have to endure! One time I was on the bus on my way to Park Avenue when a lass sat down Read more...

Articles - Yankeeburger By John Science

	I came across your website purely by accident when I was looking for any comments regarding Yankeeburger in Jameson Street. I was pleasantly surprised to read that a Vivian Wan from Australia worked there in the 80's and referred to me as a 'great guy' -a compliment indeed. I do remember we had some wonderful students from Asia during that period Read more...

Articles - Nappy Nature By Shellie

	Nappy Nature is the trading name for the Hull and East Riding Real Nappy Network, we are a not for profit business, by which we mean though we make a profit that money is re-invested into our activities and projects, not shareholders! We are actively working with the Real Nappy Campaign as well as any other baby and parent group Read more...

Articles - Ghost Chasers In Hull By Mike Smith

	Ghost Chasers www.ghostchasers.co.uk are Hull's Leading Internationally Renowned Paranormal Investigative Team. We investigate local and national alleged paranormal locations. The investigations we carry out are done professionally and in the strictest confidence. We do not involve the media without the clients consent. Read more...