Martians, Venusians and Other Figments of the Popular Imagination (1/4) by The Silver Fox

(1/4), (2/4), (3/4), (4/4).

Firstly, an apology to the more nerdly of you who may, from the above title, have expected a stimulating and wide-reaching reappraisal of populist science-fiction - Battlestar Galactica, Dan Dare, and the like. Perhaps another time though, as such matters are rarely far from the thoughts of most cultural types. It will have a far more apposite title, however, I can assure you of that; even the most neophyte of Eagle scholars knows that the mighty Mekon and his emerald hordes were of Venus stock, so the word 'Venusians' would be redundant: always call a Treen a Treen - that's my motto. But I'm in danger of digressing...

What I do propose to address here (for those of you who haven't already clicked elsewhere, infuriated by a bald refusal to tackle the public's indifference to Gerry Anderson's Space Precint) is the deplorable 'Boys' Club' ambience that pervades our little world of strumming, humming, and bumming like a noxious stench; a rank putrescent stink of adolescent stupidity mingling the darker, more enduring aroma of willful, self-satisfied ignorance.

I'm crediting anyone reading this with a certain insight into the Ways of the World, and as such, I doubt that I'm springing any great and disillusioning 'finding your Dad pissed in a tatty false beard crashing around your bedroom at 2:30am on Christmas morning' surprise on you when I point out that most (if not all) societies are unjust, unfair, and riddled with insidious institutional prejudices that are so deeply-embedded into their fabrics that they often go by unnoticed. One immediately thinks of racism, ageism, and (of course) sexism.

Being creative, arty-liberal types (always call a Pinko a Pinko: that's another motto) we all evince at least some degree of horror and revulsion when an example of these iniquitous attitudes rears its ugly head, because we're better than that; we're enlightened. Were we not, we'd have joined our fathers' Trad Jazz bands and performed in blackface - ''cause it's traditional, innit? Just a bit of fun?'

At least, that's what we like to think. It's a crock, though: on all levels - international, national, and local - music is still very much the domain of white males; a repressed and arrested tree house gang of like-minded dimmos peering down with smug exclusivity from their arboreal hidey-hole at anyone 'different'. They may not hang up crudely-printed signs reading 'NO GIRLS, SWOTS, OR DARKIES ALLOWED', but it's pretty heavily implied nonetheless.

In the rarefied atmosphere of Top Pop Earners, of course, this can be written off simply as 'business'; distasteful though it is to admit, the entertainment industry is precisely that - an industry that exists to turn a profit large enough to satisfy fat-cat executives and rapacious shareholders alike. Money is made by giving people 'what they want'; not by taking chances on anything too disturbing or avant-garde, so they play it safe and repackage the same shit for each successive generation, tweaking here and there as the whims of fashion dictate. Thus the mainstream remains (and always will) a white-bread whitewash of guitar bands singing about chicks, and chicks singing about love (although it's preferable and more lucrative if they use the mike to suggest that one aspect of 'love' interests them above all else - if you catch my drift).

Yes: there is a place for female artists in the Big League, but only for ones that are both attractive and available, considerations that don't seem to apply so seriously to their male equivalents - could you really imagine Girls Aloud doing so well if they looked like female Gallaghers? Would The Sugababes prosper if the girl-twin of that fat gargoyle from Westlife was crammed into one of their tube-tops? You might want to take a moment to consider that image, but I wouldn't advise it; they don't make bleach for the mind...

Of course, these examples are taken from the very top echelon of 'the music scene' (financially if not creatively speaking), and don't necessarily apply to the indie/alt-rock milieu. 'Real musicians' and 'real songwriters' are judged on merit and talent, aren't they? A band can garner a following based purely on the quality of their performances and material, however grotesque their appearance, however ethnically-diverse their members, and however female-fronted they may be.

Continued ......next page (2/4)

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