Just an idea..! By Rich Mills

Flash Funerals: The idea for 'flash funerals' is that I personally do not wish to have a great fuss made when I finally shuffle off this mortal coil. So the concept of Flash Funerals is that your friends, relatives, and anyone else whose mobile phone number or email address you have, is sent a message. This message would contain the time and the place of the funeral (usually to be within the next hour or so, therefore giving no time to prepare!). It would also contain the last wishes of the dear departed, as far as the flash was concerned.

For example, the wish could be to stand in silence, two fingers aloft, chanting glad to see the back of you, you twat!' Or some such unique epitaph, that the ridged-one had thought up in a more floppy phase of their existence. Or possibly the loving words of a devoted relative. Whatever, it's not of any importance anyway!

The flash would occur, the box would roll, the door would close, the flames would lick, burn baby burn, and the crowd would go down the pub! Next please!

Humour - Ghostly Moans By Darren Sant

	It isn't easy being a ghost. We are the only supernatural entity without a union. Anaemic vampires are well looked after in their retirement. Werewolves with mange get reduced vets bills. I mean for god's sake even Banshee's with laryngitis get given free strepsils. What do we have? Bloody ectoplasm. Have you any idea how hard it is to shift ectoplasm from Read more...

Humour - Horoscopes - We look into your stars..and give you the bad news By Darren Sant

	Aquarius 21 Jan - 19 Feb: This month mercury is entering Uranus. Seek immediate medical attention. Pisces 20 Feb - 20 Mar: Now might be a good time to write your last will and testament. Aries 21 Mar - 20 Apr: Mars is dominant in your sign this month. If you happen to spot Beagle please let NASA know. Read more...

Humour - News from 'Ull Part 2 - The Scandal of Hull's Illegal Scrap Dealers

It emerged today that several Hull individuals have been arrested for possessing illegal scrap, with intent to supply. But we're not talking scrap of the metal variety - it's the elusive but strangely irresistible bits of batter that collect in the bottom of the fryer in chip shops all over Hull. Yes - 'scraps'. Until recently, scraps were the staple diet of many poor people in Hull, being the cheapest item Read more...

Humour - News from 'Ull Part 1 - New Test for Asylum Seekers

	It emerged recently that the government is making new asylum seekers pass a Britishness test before being granted asylum. The immigration forces in Hull have come up with their own agenda - making them pass a test on 'ullness, to see if they have the potential to become fully fledged citizens of the planet 'ull. Applicants have to answer the following questions : Read more...

Humour - Good Diet Conclusion

Here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies. 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. 2. The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. 3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heartattacks than the British or Americans. Read more...

Humour - Valentine Special...Odd Couples by Jane Foster

	As the old saying goes, opposites attract. Love can blossom between unlikely individuals. Love can cross boundaries of age, culture, distance..even extreme political ideologies. Let me show you our gallery of some of these couples.. people who have found true, everlasting love, despite cultural and political barriers, despite the prejudices and reactions of others. Read more...

Humour - Is it All Over for the Personal Ads? by Jane Foster

	At one time, joining a dating agency or putting a personal ad in the paper was seen as the mark of desperation. If anyone did do it, they seldom admitted it - unless they actually ended up meeting someone and staying with them. Then the details of how they met might leak out slowly.. But technology has changed the way people meet and interact, and one of the most common pastimes is.. Read more...

Humour - When You Think About IT ...

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft.. Read more...

Reviews, Theatre - Fusion @ Hull University - 1 March to 1 April By Michelle Dee Clark
	Contemporary multimedia art from Hull: art-music-film. Tearing through the traffic on a cold Monday evening, anxiously watching the big hand tick by quarter past seven.. We were supposed to be at the Middleton Hall on the Hull University grounds for Fusion. Read more...

Reviews, Books - Top Ten Books By Darren Sant
	Not exactly an original idea but I thought I might share my top ten favourite books with you. They are listed in no particular order of preference. Maybe you have a top ten to share with This is 'Ull? Lord of the Rings, J.R.R Tolkien Superlatives don't do this justice so I won't even try heaping praise on this one. Suffice to say that this classic grips your imagination Read more...

Reviews, Theatre - ConPromise by Mal Williamson, Directed by Mathew Smith EICH Gallery, Hull
	By Michelle Dee I shall start with no preamble but immerse you straight away very much the same way that the 30+ audience were. Last Friday night at the EICH Gallery in Hull I was sat in the front row, watching and listening to the reading of ConPromise by Mal Williamson. For the first 5 minutes I tried desperately to understand the .. Read more...

Reviews, Films - The Renegade Writers Recommend...Festive Film Releases by Jane Foster.
	When Addy met Saddy ( U ) This is a tale of two moustaches. A tale of two hardcore dictators, united in mutual follicular admiration. Adolf is a young dictator with a genetic disorder, which means that his moustache extends no further than his Cupid's bow. His secret wish is to own a large, bushy moustache. Read more...

Review of 2003 - By Nick Quantrill
	In the festive tradition of polls, surveys and what have you that all the best magazines and websites carry at this time of the year, you'll have to settle for some things I liked in 2003 and some things I didn't.. 1 Gigolo Aunts - Pacific Ocean Blues 2 Jesse Malin - The Fine Art Of Self Destruction Read more...